Dirty Dan
by hockeyfanmaddy
Summary: Upon his firing on Tuesday, Dan Schneider has been etched in the back of my mind. Fortunately/unfortunately, I have a fixation on him because of this. In this story,he takes the backstage experience to "a whole new level" with none other than Miranda Cosgrove of ICarly. Rated T now, but will soon be M for...reasons. *wink* R&R!
1. Chapter 1

Dan asked Miranda to follow him to the green room for iCarly.

"For what?"

"You'll see. _You'll see."_ Dan replied with a smirk.

Now, this _wasn't_ the green room. It was the basefent set of the show. Miranda never knew the basement was so roomy and full of compartments and rooms beyond her comprehension. Danwent into this odd-looking closet-room and coaxed her in. When she got in, the door was locked. The room was dark and cold. Dan's face was illuminated by a flashlight, but like you'd see before a scary story-telling.

"Being that iCarly is officialy one of my most successful creations, you've earned yourself a little _reward._ "

Miranda looked confused.

"I like your feet." He took off her flip-flops, and began to rub her young, slightly sweaty bipedals.

"D-Dan, I'm lost. What do you _exactly_ want me to have for this... _reward?"_ Dan wrapped his thick, muscular tongue around her big toe. Miranda flinched slightly at his saliva coating her first 3 toes.

" _Eeeeugh. Dan,"_ she grunted. "My feet. _Clean. ."_

 _*Slurrrp!*_

 _Dan now_ had Miranda's whole left foot in his mouth, sucking and slurping the hell out of it. He felt her way up to her neck, slightly pressing.

"Oww. _Dann.",_ she moaned.

"Miranda, we're just getting started."

"Started with what?"

He unbuttoned his jeans, unzipped them, and slid them off.

"Feel."

Miranda felt her way down Dan's briefs until the was interrupted a mound-like bump.

"I forgot to tell you, Miranda. Your feet were so perfect and delicious," he licked his lips and whispered to her.

 _"My Danhood is congratulating you."_


	2. Let's Get Busy

Miranda couldn't believe it.

 _"Danhood? Just swap the D for M and...oh my god. We really have to go to_ _this_ _length?"_

"Now that I had something from _you_ in my mouth,I want something from _me_ to be in _your_ mouth."

She tried to find somewhere to escape the unknown room, but the door was locked, there were no windows, and Dan Schneider was about to screw her over, literally. Dan mounted her, pinning her down. She tried to scream for help, but her voice was muffled by the musty-smelling carpet.

"I'd rather you not scream. _Mmmm, Niice um, private quarters."_

Miranda immediately regretted not putting on panties today. Her pussy was now a pink shaved slit underneath her dress. Dan told her he was known as the "Man with a plan", and prepared himself for this. Dan dove in and savored her twitching slit, exhaling harshly and didn't care as to what Miranda thought in return. This was his way of rewarding her, period.

"Mmm. Keep flicking some more,my slave. I'm going to leave a lasting impression inside you. I have to have you loosened up. You don't want my Danhood to cause you any pain because of your tightness, do you?"

"I-I- *yelps* *shudders*"

Some cold, lime-green trademark Nick slime was spread along her lips.

"This will make my Danhood slide in and out like a hot knife slices through butter." He massaged the green goo into her cunt further, outlining her cervix walls with this odd lube.

This was it. This was actually happening. Her slit submitted to the muscle-relaxing effects of the slime, that it opened so further, than Miranda could feel the cool breeze dusting upon the entire set of exposed, pink-with-some-green, lips.

"That was just for precaution. Now, to get something of _mine_ in _your_ mouth."

And what would _that be?_ Oh please, do read on!

Dan eased Miranda into inching down those tight (due to his arousal) shorts, and there it was.

 _His Danhood._

 _Long enough to successfully deepthroat, and thick enough to stretch her mouth to its painful gape._

Miranda had no choice but to sit there, trapped, no one to find her, in shock. The Danhood just there, in front of her face. In fact, _so_ close to her face, that she could _smell_ Dan. The smell was nothing she had ever known. Musty. Funky. And the taste was now to be discovered, for Dan slammed his junk right into her mouth, causing her to shout muffled.

"That young, fantastic, _strong_ mouth of yours! How could I _not_ start this way?"

Miranda tried to answer, but for _obvious reasons,_ the only sounds she could make were surprised, pained, and pleasured moans.

"Mmmm. _Just like that. You love that, don't you? I-UH!"_

Dan encountered an early ejaculation, with only a grunt from him, and a eye flutter from Miranda as she slurped down that juice as if she would die if she didn't.

" _Oh, ughhhh._ That was quick. _Now, what we've both been waiting for._ Well, _probably just me._ You still got that slime on you?" He looked up into Miranda's slit, giving an affirmative nod back. What he said next, only made her heart sink, in an " _Oh God, this can't really be happening!_ " feeling.

" _Let's get busy."_


End file.
